Old Memorial-- Tampa, FL

The Sands of Iwo Jima? Welcome to Old Memorial

Thank God for rain delays.

I sat comfortably in the leather chair with my playing partners in the men’s locker room at Old Memorial. The ice cold gin slowly trickled down my throat and offered a re-assuring sense of hope after a quick slaughter on the Steve Smyers-designed course prior to getting called in for lightning. We had only played 6 holes of what is a classic examination of penal design, but my interest in heading back out to what is an intriguing design waned as I spent more time in what is a shrine to all things male.

Big cocktails. Unbelievable food. A fully-stocked member’s cigar room with humidors. The most beautiful lockers openly complimenting a wide-open room. An expansive bar situated in the middle of the room being hosted by some of the best clubhouse service you will ever see. Sports celebrities in the locker room hanging’ with the boys. Plasma TVs properly placed everywhere providing total sports coverage.


Pucker Factor: The Marvelous Par 3 Third at O.M.

I know that the world continues to move on at its torrid pace outside of the gates, but I don’t care. The setting I was privileged to soak in that day turned its back on the world and let us all truly escape into a nirvanic refuge of indulgence and relaxation.

 Some clubs try very hard to put on a tremendous show. Old Memorial is the real deal, and does it in a way that is subdued, welcoming, and first-class every step of the way.

I ordered another gin and tonic. Is it really necessary that we trudge out of this shrine quietly located between 2 great-sized white doors in the clubhouse? If there was ever a time to hang it up and forget about the other 12 holes, this was most definitely the place. Add in the fact that their on-site lodging is just steps away from the club house, the Club is the ultimate guy’s Shangri-Lah and is absolutely required study by any private club on what is the perfect 19^th hole. I cannot think of a finer place to be invited to a Member-Guest.

Our caddies interrupted our lunch to tell us that we were back on for playing. For the first time in many years, I be-grudgingly got up from my chair and silently wished that I could ditch the golf and stay in the bar for another week. I would die a quick and painless death due to my over-indulgence, but both my wife and family would understand and forgive me if they knew the temple for which I had entered.

And so we trudged back out to the golf course. Four innocent lambs heading into the slaughterhouse.

Founded by Outback Steakhouse owner Chris Sullivan, Old Memorial was designed by Steve Smyers and is located in a quiet setting roughly 20 minutes from the Tampa airport. Drive to it without directions and you may as well waste your time. What seems a non-descript road leads you to a secured entrance that seamlessly winds you through heavy foliage that ultimately unveils an exclusive retreat meant to cater to those who expect both the finer things and life and what is to be an exercise in golf masochism.



Smyer's Bunkering: Artistic Masochism

Make no mistake; they created a great 19^th hole to wash away the bloodshed that will happen to you on the golf course. What is most striking immediately about the design is the visual deception that is provided by over 166 sculpted bunkers throughout the design. As one walks with their group through the round, it is hard not to have the course elicit the same reaction to the bunkers as General George Custer did upon entering into the canyon that fateful day in 1876 to see his group surrounded by attacking Sioux and Cheyenne:

“They are everywhere.”

The bunkers are some of the most artfully-sculpted pieces of work I have ever seen. At times, I truly wondered if Rodin himself assisted Smyers in creating these three-dimensional monsters. The high flashing and massive square area of these penal bunkers demonstrates the immense maintenance budget and expectation as they were perfect….LC properly visited numerous during the war.

The mandatory requirement for guests to use a caddie when playing at Old Memorial is essential. The caddie staff at Old Memorial is truly first-class, and only compliments the experience. The course is designed to confuse, scare, and at times humiliate your sense of confidence with any poorly executed shots. The genius lies within understanding that all of this bark does not always translate into bite. As LC navigated through the course, it was validated on numerous occasions that visual deception was combined with ample landing spaces off the tee if properly guided. Furthermore, the ability to play an aerial game from 150 yards and in is essential to avoid the massive bunkering that surrounds and engulfs each hole. Head into a bunker? Automatic stroke penalty….every time. The greens at Old Memorial offer such a severe level of slope and intrigue that having to navigate massive-flashed bunkers to microscopic targets on greens that are running at 11 is not for mere mortals. With all of that said, it is LC’s opinion that if given the chance to play multiple sessions at Old Memorial, the comfort-level with sight-lines and proper miss-points would be learned and help to reduce the inaugural score of a first-timer.

Did I mention the drinks, greatest hot dog, and the chocolate-covered macaroons?


The Homewrecker

I savored a finely-pulled pint of Cigar City Brewing Company’s Maduro Brown Ale after the round with my playing partners back in the 19^th hole.  Although the golf course is fabulous in its own right, it is the total sum of the Club experience that in my mind leads me to say that Old Memorial has truly defined the word “Destination” when it comes to the Club industry. One should always relish the opportunity to take in a full session at this great Club.